by Internet & Digital Age Satirists Landover Baptist Church
Landover Baptist Church – Internet & Digital Age Satirists – Free Thinker’s Bible
Landover Baptist Church, Free Thinker &Satirist
The Landover Baptist Church is not a church – it is satire disguised as spiritual hysteria. Created to lampoon religious extremism, especially the fire-and-brimstone variety, Landover serves sermons soaked in rage, hypocrisy, and snake oil. Every post is a parody of evangelical logic cranked to biblical absurdity. Headlines like “Jesus Wouldn’t Let You Wear Pants” or “God Invented Ebola To Punish Homosexuals” are so pitch-perfect that confused believers often take them at face value. Its brilliance lies in its commitment to the bit – it never breaks character, never winks, and never apologizes. In a world full of televangelists selling salvation and conspiracies, Landover reveals the ridiculousness by imitating it flawlessly. A freethinker’s holy satire of organized nonsense.
🧠 Rules for Free Thinkers from Landover Baptist Church
(Landover Baptist Church, Short. Sharp. Unforgivable.)
-
Question Everything—Especially the Questions
If the answer is obvious, you’re probably in a cult. -
Laugh at Authority
Power hates humor. So sharpen your wit like a guillotine. -
Offend Strategically
Be rude with purpose, not just volume. Satire isn’t trolling—it’s surgery. -
Think in Sentences, Not Slogans
If it fits on a bumper sticker, it probably belongs in the trash. -
Contradict Yourself—Loudly
Consistency is the hobgoblin of people who don’t read footnotes. -
Make Enemies You’d Be Proud to Roast
If no one’s angry at you, you’re doing it wrong. -
Mock the Mob, Even If You Agree With It
Bandwagons are just parade floats headed off cliffs. -
Be Funny First, Correct Second
Satire without laughter is just a manifesto in clown makeup. -
Burn Sacred Cows—Medium Rare
Every era has its idols. Your job is to cook them. -
Never Join a Revolution That Doesn’t Have a Joke Book
No punchline? No freedom.
FREE THINKER’S BIBLE
Image Gallery
Originally posted 2015-09-15 23:01:11.
Annika Steinmann is Bohiney Magazine’s Senior Business Correspondent, reporting directly from Wall Street with a signature blend of investigative depth and razor-sharp wit. With over a decade of experience covering global markets, corporate corruption, and finance culture, Annika brings unparalleled expertise in economics, journalism, and exposing overfunded nonsense. She holds an MBA from Wharton and a B.A. in economics from the University of Chicago, establishing her authoritative voice across business media. Her reporting has appeared in Forbes, FT, and Bloomberg, while her viral essays have reshaped public opinion on everything from crypto fraud to startup delusion. Known for her commitment to factual accuracy and transparency, she’s widely regarded as a trusted voice in financial satire and serious reporting alike. She lives in New York City, where she continues to write, speak, and fact-check billionaires for sport.
CONTACT: anikka@bohiney.com
READ: https://bohiney.com/author/annika/
