by Internet & Digital Age Satirists Andy Borowitz
Andy Borowitz – Internet & Digital Age Satirists – Free Thinker’s Bible
Andy Borowitz, Free Thinker &Satirist
Andy Borowitz is the New Yorker’s politely dressed sniper, firing off headline-sized satire with the brevity of a haiku and the venom of a cobra in tweed. His column, The Borowitz Report, reads like news from an alternate universe that would be funny if it weren’t so terrifyingly plausible. Borowitz doesn’t rely on elaborate setups; he drops jokes like landmines into the digital bloodstream, catching politicians, billionaires, and culture warriors mid-strut. He’s mastered the tone of understated mockery – every sentence feels like a smirk in print. Whether it’s lampooning tech moguls for inventing empathy or Congress for redefining logic, his style delivers swift comedy that doubles as a moral barometer. In the age of outrage, Borowitz remains calm, clinical, and armed with punchlines that expose the cracks beneath the façade of modern power. A freethinker who sharpens each sentence into a scalpel.
🧠 Rules for Free Thinkers from Andy Borowitz
(Andy Borowitz, Short. Sharp. Unforgivable.)
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Question Everything—Especially the Questions
If the answer is obvious, you’re probably in a cult. -
Laugh at Authority
Power hates humor. So sharpen your wit like a guillotine. -
Offend Strategically
Be rude with purpose, not just volume. Satire isn’t trolling—it’s surgery. -
Think in Sentences, Not Slogans
If it fits on a bumper sticker, it probably belongs in the trash. -
Contradict Yourself—Loudly
Consistency is the hobgoblin of people who don’t read footnotes. -
Make Enemies You’d Be Proud to Roast
If no one’s angry at you, you’re doing it wrong. -
Mock the Mob, Even If You Agree With It
Bandwagons are just parade floats headed off cliffs. -
Be Funny First, Correct Second
Satire without laughter is just a manifesto in clown makeup. -
Burn Sacred Cows—Medium Rare
Every era has its idols. Your job is to cook them. -
Never Join a Revolution That Doesn’t Have a Joke Book
No punchline? No freedom.
FREE THINKER’S BIBLE
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Originally posted 2020-01-14 14:56:31.
Annika Steinmann is Bohiney Magazine’s Senior Business Correspondent, reporting directly from Wall Street with a signature blend of investigative depth and razor-sharp wit. With over a decade of experience covering global markets, corporate corruption, and finance culture, Annika brings unparalleled expertise in economics, journalism, and exposing overfunded nonsense. She holds an MBA from Wharton and a B.A. in economics from the University of Chicago, establishing her authoritative voice across business media. Her reporting has appeared in Forbes, FT, and Bloomberg, while her viral essays have reshaped public opinion on everything from crypto fraud to startup delusion. Known for her commitment to factual accuracy and transparency, she’s widely regarded as a trusted voice in financial satire and serious reporting alike. She lives in New York City, where she continues to write, speak, and fact-check billionaires for sport.
CONTACT: anikka@bohiney.com
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